I’m glad I’m still a med student and can afford to spend almost five hours on one patient. On the other hand, I can’t believe I just spent almost five hours on one patient. I also can’t believe it took us ninety minutes this morning to round on just three patients. This should really be called eternal medicine.
A few of my thoughts about peds. Just a couple months late.
All in all, pediatrics was my favorite rotation so far. I could see myself working as a pediatrician in the inpatient setting and enjoying it. I’m not convinced I only want to work with kids, but I really don’t like the thought of never being able to work with them.
I’ll let you know how I feel about medicine in another month or so.
The updated list:
Some days you’re less of a medical student and more of a medical secretary, like when I spent 90 minutes faxing medical records, and then called the same clinic about 10 times over the next three days. I just hope I actually helped someone. I’m a better student than secretary.
2 minutes of researching your patient’s condition is as impressive as 60.
I can do better. I can be better at life.
That’s been echoing in my head.
I haven’t tried to keep it a secret that I haven’t exactly been well. Professionally, I’m distracted. I struggle to give medicine the attention it deserves. Socially, superficial and unreciprocated friendships leave me with that spirit of vindictiveness. More meaningful personal relationships seem either forever elusive or actually abusive.
With regards to my personal self, I’ve been transitioning, continually shifting, since my Mormon perspective was obliterated. How firm a foundation. I’ve been free to become my own person, an incredibly healthy process, but also challenging, painful, and uncomfortable. It’s hard to fathom who I was and how I used to think. I’ve changed a lot. I’m glad I’m not that person. I count myself very lucky for being able to escape with really the majority of my life ahead of me. It could be much worse, but the truth is it still hasn’t been very good.
Where do we go from here?
I can do better. I can be a better person.
I have thoughts about this. I think it starts with personal insight. I’ve been thinking about communities and processes. I think these are good ideas. I’ll see how it goes from here.